![]() ![]() At times their responses are appropriate and nurturing but at other times they are intrusive and insensitive. Some adults are inconsistently attuned to their children. They have formed an avoidant attachment with a misattuned parent. These children pull away from needing anything from anyone else and are self-contained. Often their children quickly develop into “little adults” who take care of themselves. ![]() These parents discourage crying and encourage independence. They have little or no response when a child is hurting or distressed. There are adults who are emotionally unavailable and, as a result, they are insensitive to and unaware of the needs of their children. Dan Siegel emphasizes that in order for a child to feel securely attached to their parents or care-givers, the child must feel safe, seen and soothed. ![]() A child in this type of relationship is securely attached. During the second year, children begin to use the adult as a secure base from which to explore the world and become more independent. It is vital that this attachment figure remain a consistent caregiver throughout this period in a child’s life. Ideally, from the time infants are six months to two years of age, they form an emotional attachment to an adult who is attuned to them, that is, who is sensitive and responsive in their interactions with them. These patterns will go on to guide the child’s feelings, thoughts and expectations as an adult in future relationships. During the first two years, how the parents or caregivers respond to their infants, particularly during times of distress, establishes the types of patterns of attachment their children form. ![]() Without this attachment, they will suffer serious psychological and social impairment. Young children need to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver in order for their social and emotional development to occur normally. It also clarifies ways that you are emotionally limited as an adult and what you need to change to improve your close relationships and your relationship with your own children. Understanding your style of attachment is helpful because it offers you insight into how you felt and developed in your childhood. Once established, it is a style that stays with you and plays out today in how you relate in intimate relationships and in how you parent your children. Your style of attachment was formed at the very beginning of your life, during your first two years. What is attachment and why is it important?Īttachment refers the particular way in which you relate to other people. Attachment, Communication with Children, Parenting, Parenting Advice ![]()
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